“It is Well with my Soul” for my mother and step-father

The song "It Is Well With My Soul" was written by the successful Christian lawyer Horatio Gates Spafford. His only son died at age 4 in 1871. In 1872, the great Chicago fire wiped out his vast estate, made from a successful legal career. In 1873 he sent his wife & 4 daughters over to Europe on a summer trip on the ill-fated SS Ville du Havre. Since he had a lot of work to do, he planned to follow them later. The Ship sank and he lost his 4 daughters with the wife being the only survivor. She sent him a famous telegram which simply read, "SAVED ALONE...." On his return home, his Law firm was burned down and the insurance company refused to pay him. They said "It's an Act of God". He had no money to pay for his house and no work, he also lost his house. Then while sitting and thinking what's happening to him, being a spiritual person, he wrote a song - "Whatever, my Lord, You have taught me to say - It is well, it is well with my soul". (Shared by Claude Schroeder on Facebook, June 18, 2018). In doing further research on the ancestry of H. G. Spafford, I noticed a common ancestor with my step-father Donald Lee Craine. This chart shows that cousin connection.

My mother and stepfather, pictured below, would be happy to see this cousin connection. They surely both sang this song, as they sang many duets in their Baptist church throughout their marriage. I can imagine my mother, Ruby Flanders Craine, playing this by ear on the piano, as her talent allowed her to do so often.

Craine and Dale in Blue Rapids, KS 1925

Thanks to a hint provided by Ancestry.com, this week I discovered that Frank Earnest Dale and his wife Mazie Hublitz were residing in Blue Rapids, Kansas in 1925. I knew that my step-father Donald Lee Craine was born in Blue Rapids in 1925. The 1925 Kansas Census shows these families:
Page 129 of 157
Dale, Frank E, age 36, born in KS, Farmer
Dale, Mazie, age 26, born in KS
Dale, Calvin W., age 1, born in KS
Page 17 of 157
Craine L. O. (Leonard Oscar), age 39, Blacksmith, res: 306 Lincoln St.
Craine, Mary, age 31
Craine, Eunice, age 10
Craine, Raymond, age 4
Unborn: Craine, Donald Lee (born Oct. 1925)

Frank and Mazie Dale were the grandparents of my son’s birth mother. And Donald Craine married my mother in Oct. 1953. So my step-father lived in the same town in 1925 where my son’s grandparents were living. This amazes me.

There are Poets in my family

I have a small collection of poems written by my mother Ruby Flanders Craine and her brother Mervin Flanders. I recently realized some of my cousins from that family were not aware of this talent in our family. So I'm sharing them here for their benefit.

My twin brother has also authored many poems, but I'll keep them private for now. It's good to know that he inherited his creative talent from our mother. I inherited my strength for names, dates, organization and attention to detail from our father. But I didn't inherit much creative talent! 

A Surprising Connection Between Dad's Family and Mother's Friends

The title of this post doesn't suggest anything surprising or unusual. Many couples have friends from one side of the family who are related to the other side of the family. But as I grew up from childhood, my dad's side of the family and my mother's side of the family were like the Hatfields and McCoys. At least that's what my stepmother raised me to believe, and enforced in our home. The two families were polar opposites and neither was ever spoken of in the other's home.

As I've done family history research, I've discovered quite a lot of connections between my mother's family and my dad's family. Another one came to light today as I visited with my dad about one of his cousins. I've drawn this chart to illustrate the relationships I'll describe here.

My parents are Ernest Margheim and Ruby Flanders. You can see in this chart that Alvina Koleber is a first cousin of my dad. Alvina's father (George Koleber) and Ernest's mother (Amalia Koleber) were brother and sister. Actually they are "double cousins" because Alvina's mother (Mary Elizabeth Margheim) and Ernest's father (John Margheim) are also sister and brother.

Alvina Koleber Buehler

Alvina was first married in 1939 to Elmer Buehler. The chart shows that Elmer's brother was Raymond Buehler, husband of Adeline Kasselman. I was shocked to learn this today, because Ray and Adeline ("Addie") Buehler were very good friends of my mother Ruby Flanders and her second husband Don Craine. Many times as I visited my mother in Wichita, Kansas her friends Addie and Ray were present. I went to school with their children as I grew up.

Adeline Kasselman Buehler

It's interesting to me that Ray Buehler's sister-in-law was Alvina Koleber Buehler. Dad has told me that Alvina was employed in the early 1950s at Jones Home Laundry in Great Bend, Kansas. 

Alvina Koleber Buehler in her
uniform at Jones Home Laundry,
Great Bend, KS

Jones Home Laundry was owned by Henry James "Jim" Jones, whose daughter Phyllis also worked there and in 1951 became my step-mother (as second wife of Ernest Margheim). Phyllis was encouraged by Alvina Buehler in August 1950 to attend a dance in Great Bend since she was 26 years old and single. Alvina knew that one of the band members providing the music at the dance was guitarist Ernest Margheim, newly-divorced father of two-year-old twins, Dennis and Becky (me). Phyllis and Ernest met at that dance and were married 18 March 1951.

Alvina Koleber Buehler is in the front row at left and 
Phyllis Jones is 4th from right. 

Dad told me today that the first time he met his first wife Ruby Flanders (my mother) he was also at a dance. She was dancing with a man named Ray Buehler! Dad was attracted to Ray's dancing partner so after the dance Dad asked Ray what her name was. Ray told Dad that he didn't know! Dad asked her to dance anyway....and they were married July 9, 1943. Eventually Ray married Addie Kasselman and the two were life-long friends of my mother Ruby and her second husband Don Craine.  

It just amazes me that all those years that I knew Addie and Ray Buehler as close friends of my mom and step-dad I had no idea Ray's brother Elmer had been married to my dad's cousin Alvina Koleber. And I had no idea that a friend of my step-mother was married to the brother-in-law of a friend of my birth mother. Even putting the names Koleber and Margheim in the same blog post as the Buehler and Ruby Flanders Margheim Craine names seems like pouring oil in water. But I've discovered and illustrated the connection and am now trying to let it soak into my boggled mind. The things we don't know when we're young and the things we wouldn't know if we don't talk to our parents and other relatives!

In Memory of Our Parents

Our Memorial Day tribute to our parents:

My husband's parents: Lt. Col. Lafayette Richard and E. Irene Roberts Jamison, Evergreen Cemetery, Colorado Springs, El Paso, Colorado.

My step-mother Phyllis Jean Jones Margheim, Great Bend Cemetery, Great Bend, Barton, Kansas

My step-father and mother Donald Lee and Ruby Nadine Flanders Craine, Sedgwick Cemetery, Sedgwick, Sedgwick, Kansas.