Telling My Story: Getting a Stepmother

It was in August, 1950 that my father, Ernest L. Margheim, met Phyllis Jean Jones. He had been divorced since March from Ruby (Flanders) Margheim, and as the father of two-year old twins, was earning extra money by playing guitar in a dance band organized by Earl Haines in Great Bend, KS. Phyllis, single at age 27, had accompanied her friends Rose and son Donald Pizinger to one of those dances. 

When Ernest first took Phyllis to the home of his parents in Hoisington, KS, Becky and Dennis were playing outdoors with neighbor children. Phyllis asked which were Ernest's kids. He replied "The little blond girl and boy". I mention that because I never thought neither Dennis nor I were blond! But with our toddler hair in the blazing Kansas sun, we must have appeared so.

From right to left: Dennis and Becky Margheim, Diana,
Cora and Maxine (Jones) Sova. Maxine was the younger
sister of Phyllis. 

Right to left: Phyllis (Jones) with Becky Margheim,
Diana, Cora, and Maxine Sova

Ernest, Phyllis, Dennis and Becky Margheim
about 1953

Ernest and Phyllis were married at Concordia Lutheran Church in Hoisington, KS by The Rev. Charles Fredrickson on March 18, 1951.

Ernest and Phyllis with The Rev. Charles F. and Mrs. Fredrickson 

Left to right: John L. and Mollie (Koleber) Margheim, parents
of Ernest and Laura (Maupin) Jones, step-mother of Phyllis and
Henry James "Jim" Jones, father of Phyllis.

Easter, 1951 Dennis and Becky age 3, with grandparents
John and Mollie Margheim and our new step-
mother Phyllis (Jones) Margheim. We're in the backyard
of our grandparents' home at 114 E. 6th St, Hoisington, KS.

Phyllis had often roller skated and had her own
skates so she's accompanying us down the sidewalk
in front of Grandma's house in Hoisington. 

After Dad and "Mom" were married, they continued to reside with our grandparents while having a house built on the basement foundation of Dad's property in Great Bend, KS. The house was finished in time for us to move into it in the Fall of 1952, as Dennis and I were ready to start Kindergarten at E. E. Morrison School, just four blocks away.  

Looking Northeast at the garage and back yard of our house.

Dad was a gardener so our yard didn't look this
barren very long. 

This back door at the south side of our house
was the entrance to the "Basement House" I wrote about
in a previous post. Looking north at the
corner of 22nd and Jefferson St., Great Bend, KS 

As I recall these early years, I must comment again how incredibly blessed I was (1) to have my twin brother Dennis to go through these early life experiences with, (2) to have a father and grandparents who took their responsibilities seriously and provided such good care to us and (3) that Phyllis was willing to become a very caring, loving and attentive step-mother to her husband's children!

Telling My Story: Preschool Years Living with Grandparents

In my last post, I wrote about the house Dennis and I lived in from birth to age 2. We turned two in November, 1949 and at that time our parents separated, with our mother moving to another town. Dad moved with us to Hoisington, Kansas, to the home of his parents, John and Mollie Margheim so our grandma could care for us and Dad had their car to drive to his job south of Great Bend at Thies Packing Co. As this map shows, it's just 10 miles from Great Bend to Hoisington. 

Dennis and I were so blessed to be in the care of our grandparents, as well as with our dad. At that time my dad's sister LaVerna had been out of high school two years, lived at home while working at the local music store and gave private piano lessons at home. LaVerna's twin brother Leonard was serving in the US Army. 

Mollie, John and LaVerna
Margheim with Dennis and Becky

We were so well cared for at Grandma's house. We were her first grandchildren, she was still young enough at age 47 to properly care for us and she had the help of our Aunt LaVerna. I have wonderful memories of Aunt LaVerna washing my hair and polishing my fingernails. Our Grandpa Margheim worked as the Head Custodian at Hoisington High School, one block north of their house, and Dennis & I were able to go visit him on occasion as we got older. There were kids our age living next door so we had playmates. 

Pictures say it best, so I'm posting a selection of pictures from our days living at Grandma's house at 114 E. 6th St, Hoisington, KS. 

Grandpa John Margheim watches us closely as we
explore in his driveway.

Having fun in our rocking chairs.

Grandpa built 2 bedrooms on a second
story of the house for us. 

  

We had a lot of fun running or sliding down
the cellar door.

We spent a lot of time playing outdoors
with Jimmy Drake at front, and
Roberta "Bertie" and Eileen Demel
at right. 

Dennis and me with Dad, 1951

Dennis and Becky with Aunt LaVerna
in our Cheyenne Saddle Club shirts.

Always a favorite picture of (l to r) me, Bertie and
Eileen Demel and Jimmy Drake, with Dennis
at the right end on Grandma's porch swing.  

Easter with Uncle Leonard and
Aunt LaVerna Margheim,
Easter 1951

Dennis and Becky with
Grandpa and Grandma Margheim
Easter 1950

Dennis and I were certainly blessed to live with our dad and grandparents after our parents' divorce. Some of our best childhood memories are from that 3 year period of time. 

I remember listening to "Fibber McGee and Molly" on the radio in the evenings, and hearing Patsy Cline, Tennessee Ernie Ford, and Patty Page sing their hits on daytime radio, we made friends with the friends of our Aunt LaVerna, had good kids to play with outside, got to "lick the bowl" when Grandma made chocolate cake, had good dental care from Dr Hedge, learned to play the piano with Aunt LaVerna as our teacher on her grand piano, and attended Sunday School and Church at Concordia Lutheran Church every Sunday! 

We had a good early childhood in our preschool years, with special memories that have comforted us these past 65 years since. 

Family Photo Fun

Over the past few years I've come into possession of a LOT of old family photos. I want to share a few that are just fun to look at and comment on. 

In the top photo are my mother and two of her brothers. From left you'll see Albert Flanders (1918-2002), Ruby Flanders (1925-1990) and Mervin Flanders (1921-2007). In the second photo I've posted a picture of my half-sister, the daughter of my mother and her second husband. She looks so much like our mother in the photo above. 

I have a lot of pictures from my mother's high school photo album that show her just out having fun with her friends. You can see above that she (Ruby Flanders 1925-1990) and her cousin Betty Flanders (1926-2010) are posing at a monument that I know is at Pawnee Rock, KS. 

Posted below are many pictures showing my mom having fun with cousins and friends on the railroad tracks, depot or on train cars! I guess in the early 1940s you'd have fun wherever you could find it!

Viola Haddon (1925-2006)

Annabelle Hoover (1927-2006)

Alice Haddon (1919-1992)

Cousins Alice Haddon and Viola Haddon

Mervin Flanders, my mother's brother and Stafford KS high school classmate Viola Hill

Annabelle Hoover and unknown (Maybe Betty Flanders) in this and the remaining photos. 

It's interesting to see what my mother and her friends did for fun, even while wearing the dresses which were their school attire. I'm lucky that they had cameras with them!

What is the rest of the story in this cousins photo

In the photo above are me and my twin brother and my cousins, two of whom are also twins. The tallest boy in the back is our cousin Duane and at far left is his younger sister Sheryll, standing besides their sisters, twins Pauleen and Paulette. Standing at right are my twin brother Dennis and me. Seated in front is another cousin Rita. Rita's dad, Mervin Flanders, my mother Ruby Flanders and the other cousins mother, Pearl Flanders Harris, were all siblings in the Milo and Nannie Flanders family. If I was just looking at faces in the photos, I'd smile, say "How cute" and go on to the next picture in the album. But as I looked at this picture, I recognized it as being taken while we were all standing on the front porch of my grandparents' house in Hoisington, Kansas. 

I can verify that with the photo above of me and Dennis as we played with our dad's violin in the front yard of his parents' house, when we lived there with them in 1949-52. You can see the same mail box on the front of the house in each photo as well as the grating under the porch, that I know was painted dark green. 

Now let me tell you why I find it significant that my cousins on my mother's side of the family are standing with me and my brother on the porch of my father's parents' house. My mother and father were divorced in 1949. Since my father had custody of me and my brother, we lived with him and his parents in Hoisington, KS from 1949 until he remarried in 1951, and built a new home where we moved back to Great Bend Kansas in 1952. It's my thought that the picture was taken in the Fall or Winter of 1951, based on the fact that we all have coats on and Dennis and I would have been 4 years old. Paulette and Pauleen would have been 3-1/2 years old and Rita would have been 2-1/2 years old. I think that looks accurate, or close. 

I cannot fathom any occasion when members of my mother's family would have visited us at the home of my father's family at that time. But there's the proof that they did. 

It's good, as we enjoy looking at the old family photographs, that we take the time to really look at the whole picture. I wish our family photos could tell us the rest of the story! 

The LETTER was Delivered to my Mother Here in 1950

In my previous post I wrote about this letter that my dad wrote to my mother in May 1950, at the time of their divorce. Thank you to Google maps I can see where my mother was living at that time.

We can zoom in close enough to still read 8 1 1 on the porch of the house on the left. And it looks old enough to have been the house standing on that lot in 1950. I'll bet she was renting a room in their 2nd story. Cool!

64 year-old Valentines Tell a Poignant Story

These little Valentines were sent by me and my twin brother Dennis on February 14, 1951, when we were 3 yrs old. They were signed for us by our dad, Ernest L. Margheim. 

I especially like this Valentine since I can see that I tried to sign my own name on the back side. My dad signed my name at the top, but I was writing my name below. It looks like I got as far as B e c and part of the "k", with Dad finishing the k and y. This is the earliest sample I've found of my own handwriting. Cool!

But here's the best part of this "find".

The envelope containing the valentines tells this poignant story. While I have no idea how Dad came into possession of these valentines, I found them as I've been sorting through all the paperwork I brought home after his death last year. 

They were sent on Feb. 14, 1951, to our MOTHER, Ruby Margheim, whose address is 1674 Parkwest Lane, Wichita, Kansas. And they were sent to her, for us, by our FATHER, as we were all living with his parents at 114 E. 6th St, Hoisington, KS. 

My dad and mom, who were married July 9, 1943, were divorced in Nov. 1949. Dad loved our mom so very much and was heartbroken upon her leaving our family. Upon her departure, we were all very blessed to be able to reside with my dad's parents, John and Mollie (Koleber) Margheim at their home in Hoisington, just 10 miles north of our birthplace of Great Bend, Kansas. We were dearly loved and very well cared for by our grandparents, as our dad worked long hours at Thies Packing Company in Great Bend, KS. When our mother moved away, she took the family car, so Dad was able to drive his parents' car the 15 miles to work each day. Our Grandpa Margheim was employed as the Head Custodian at Hoisington High School at that time (pictured below). He was able to walk the one block to the school to go to work. And Grandma Margheim never learned to drive, so she was always at home with us. How blessed we were to get to live with them at that time. 

One month after we sent this post card to our mother in Wichita, Dad married our step-mother (of 47 years!) Phyllis Jones. This is a picture of us all on the day of their wedding, 18 Mar 1951. We're in the back yard of my grandparents' home with Grandpa and Grandma Margheim and our new step-mother Phyllis. We're pictured below with our grandparents and our new "mom".

I'm not surprised that my dad still had all these pictures, but I do wonder how he came into possession of the valentines. I'm just grateful that he had them and KEPT them. It tells a lot about Dad to know that he bought the valentines, helped us sign and send them to our mother and then kept them for us all these years. They reveal love all the way around.